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I
tried many times to sit down and write this testimony. There were so
many changes, lessons, and "extenuating circumstances" that
happened during this
trial that I'd never be able to get them in this limited space.
The
bottom line is: "Nothing is impossible for God!"
Believe His
word, apply His teachings to your life, live by the faith that you
know is true, and trust Him to take care of you and your circumstances, you can rest assured you have already won the
victory! God has been faithful to His promises to me, and He is waiting to
do the same for you.
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In November of 1992, my
husband came to me and told me he was unhappy in the marriage. He was
tired of my verbal abuse and attacks, and was withdrawing from our
marriage. He stayed in the home for the sake of the children, but any
emotional or physical relationship we'd had was severed. The marriage was
considered dead.
It was at this
time I sought the only source of hope I could think of. God, through
the grace of His Son, Jesus Christ, reached down and picked me up from the
rubble. My quest to save the marriage began by
reading everything I could about marriage and the art of being a godly
wife. Little changes were made, but I had no solid foundation and often
fell back into old patterns of my past. Unfortunately, the more I sought the
Lord and His ways for my answers, the farther my
husband would withdraw from the marriage..
My
husband eventually moved out in August of 1996 and confessed to an affair.
I was so lost without this part of my "identity," that I numbed
the pain through lots of alcohol. The months between
August and December are a blur. The only way the kids and I survived that
time in our lives is because the Lord literally carried us through it.
By the time January
1997 rolled around, I knew it was time to make some major changes in my life...
starting with myself. I quit drinking
and immersed myself in the Bible - learning about Jesus and applying His
teachings to applicable areas of my life. There were days I spent as many as 6-10 hours
just studying the Word, cross-referencing verse after verse. A true relationship
was established with the Lord and changes started happening within me that
can only attributed to the strength and guidance that He provided during
that time..
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Throughout
1997, my husband and I had a minimum of seven conversations about filing
for divorce. However, neither one of us could seem to cross that line.
We were both were
tired of our circumstances, but I had to make a stand.
I knew the Lord hated divorce (Mal. 2:16), and
if He hated divorce, and nothing was impossible for Him (Matt. 19:26), He
could change my marriage situation should it be His will. Many times I
would ask him to change my heart towards my husband...asking God to take
away my desires for him. No matter what I prayed, I remained in
love with him and my husband remained in the visions of our future.
Each time I thought I couldn't go on, God would always provide me with a Bible verse or
words from a trusted friend to keep me going. Each time I persevered through the
hurt, He provided another burst of strength to continue the battle. That
year was one of the hardest, most painful -- yet most rewarding -- years I've
ever lived through.
By January, 1998, I
started noticing little changes in my husband. He was spending more time with the
family and seemed more relaxed and at peace than I'd ever seen him before.
In April, he came over one day to see us and never left again. Only God!
My husband is not a
believer. There is nothing I did that changed him. There is nothing
I did that caused him to return. The only thing that happened, when
I tried to instigate any changes, was more frustration for me, and more distance from him. What
happened? God changed me! And that
change started a chain of changes in our circumstances right on down
the line.
Begin your journey by seeking God,
not trying to fix your situation. Seek to know Him...to have an encounter
with the living God, and not for what you want Him to do to make your life
better. God wants YOU. He wants you to want HIM more
than you want the restoration of the marriage. I promise...and God
promises...you won't be disappointed! When you seek Him, you will find
Him.
This is simply the cliff-notes
version. The journey itself
was much more involved. There were so many things that happened - so many miracles
witnessed, so many prayers answered. Please feel free to e-mail me with
any questions, comments or prayer requests. Thank you.
"How
I deal with Adultery" by Leanne Nava Links
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EMail:
VinJ98@aol.com
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