FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is essential for a relationship to begin the healing process. Webster's New World Dictionary defines forgiveness as: "to give up resentment against or the desire to punish; a pardon against an offense." Forgiveness is not ignoring that a wrong has been committed, but it is choosing to not act out against that wrong. "Yes, you hurt me. But I choose not to hold it against you." Forgiveness is probably one of the hardest parts of this journey. We often dwell on how unfair it has been to us, and we want to see our spouse acknowledge the hurts that we are feeling. The reality is, they can never truly understand what we are feeling and the hurts we have endured.

The Bible defines forgiveness as an "acquittal." Basically, it says you're letting go of the offenses done "to" you because of the price Jesus Christ paid "for" you. Jesus commands us to forgive, and He will provide us with the power and strength to do so.

The Bible is pretty specific about forgiveness. For how can we expect God to forgive us of our own sins, if we continue to hold the sins of our spouse against them?

Matthew 26:28 - This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.

Acts 26:18 - ...to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.'

Jeremiah 33:8 - I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me.

Matthew 6:12 - Forgive us our debts [sins], as we also have forgiven our debtors [those who have sinned against us].

Matthew 6:14-15 - For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 18:21-22 - Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

Matt. 18:35-19:1 - "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Mark 11:25 - "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

Luke 6:37 - "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

Luke 17:4 - If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him.

Luke 23:34 - Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

2 Corinthians 2:7 - Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

Colossians 3:12-14 - Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

ON THE BRINK OF DIVORCE: The Four Promises of Forgiveness