Relinquishing the Doubts
When hard times come upon us, God’s
instructions are clear: “Walk by faith and not by sight.” (1
Cor. 5:7) Faith -- our belief in God, in His promises and in
His purpose. It is knowing that God works in all things --
including deep waters of pain and suffering.
 It is one of the
hardest commands to live as we go through intense trials. The
battle of faith is not only against our own inner voices and
their screams of doubts, fears, and what ifs, but we also weigh
the opinions and suggestions of others as they witness our
struggle. How much emphasis do we put on feelings and opinions
-- those that cause us to doubt the hidden truths of God and His
words to us? I am reminded of Abraham and Sarah, two great examples of living unseen faith. What did others say regarding Abraham's promise from God? I envision the conversations of Abraham's promised son and picture the men laughing and scoffing while listening to his belief in this outlandish promise. At 100 years of age, and Sarah, 90, Abraham never wavered in his belief that God could -- and would -- fulfill His promise. In spite of the ridicule he must have received from his friends, Abraham stood fast in his knowledge of God’s faithfulness. Five years ago, my marriage unraveled. When I sought the comfort of my friends and family, their advice and opinions were based on the outward appearances. However, God said in Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce.” With God, all things are possible (Matt. 19:26), and if God hated divorce, then He would have to be the One to put the pieces back together. Even though my “Isaac” -- the restoration of my marriage -- had not yet been produced, many prayers were answered, and many mountains were removed. Like Abraham, everything inside of me knew that God is faithful. Each of us, at one time or another, has experienced this test of “faith vs. appearance.” For me, this steadfast faith was the anchor of my soul as I waited for God’s purposes to prevail. “ ‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11). My heart yearned for this promised future, but the needed changes were not within my control. I patiently waited for God to intervene. “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14). If one were looking at my situation -- without seeing God behind the scenes-- there would have appeared little hope. A large mountain sat between my circumstances and my heart’s desire. Many times I tried to move this mountain, but always with no success. Every time I tried, the mountain grew bigger, leaving me tired and weary from my failed attempts. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). There eventually came a point that quitting seemed the best option. Not quitting in the sense of ceasing or giving up hope, but quitting in the sense of relinquishing -- letting go -- no matter what happened. “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22) My human resources were spent, my physical hopes had been dashed, and I looked to the heavens while crying out, “I’ve done all I can. It’s now in Your hands, Lord!” I threw my burdens at His feet, seized the tether of faith, and waited for Him to renew my hope and fill me with the strength to go on. “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:31). |
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In my mind, I saw my Lord in heaven,
smiling down at me. His words touched my heart. “Finally! Thank
you, my child, for letting go. Now, I can do the necessary
work.” Much like Abraham, this walk of faith was not without my stumbles. “Though he stumble, he will not fall for the Lord upholds him with his hand” (Psalms 37:24). The battles continued in my mind. My heart and soul had given all to God, but my mind still drew me back to the appearances of my reality. I struggled to remember that God was behind the scenes, working on my behalf. When I put my faith in what I saw, instead of what I knew and was unseen -- Jesus Christ, His word, and His promises -- I became “like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” James 1:6 says: “When we ask, we must believe.” How did I suppress the doubts that so often crept into my mind and hindered my faith? Romans 12:2: “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” My mind had not always believed and hoped in Jesus Christ, but through Him, I had become a new creation. I continually renewed my thoughts and my attitudes by meditating on who Jesus is, and what He can accomplish, both through me and for me. I had lived - through His word - the miracles He performed during His brief stay here on earth. I had seen the fulfillment of His promises to those who trusted fully in Him. Psalms 145:13 states that “The Lord is faithful to all his promises.” And Joshua 23:14 says, “Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed.” Because “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8), I was assured that He would also fulfill the promises He had made to me. He would not fail me, nor forsake me. I often became tired and discouraged as I waited for God to intervene. But through His word, I pulled myself back into His arms and renewed my strength. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4: 6-7).  It was a long journey. I waited in
eager anticipation for the promises of God, much like an
expectant mother awaits the birth of the promised infant. The
doubts that crept into my mind when I looked at the outward
appearances of my trial were subdued by the knowledge that God
was not only the creator of the mountains, but He was also the
“mountain mover.” I continued to walk by my faith in Him,
trusting in what I knew only He could accomplish, rather that
evaluating my circumstances from the human perspective. “With
man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible”
(Matt. 19:26). Although I often thought God was slow, I now look back at that season of my life and see His perfect timing. He has restored my marriage as He promised -- in greater abundance than I had ever dreamed. Trust God. Trust His Word, and He alone will relinquish those doubts. Only God! © 1999 Caryn Burdine |
